


Root or Jump

by selenehekate



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-11
Updated: 2014-06-11
Packaged: 2018-02-04 07:02:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1769992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/selenehekate/pseuds/selenehekate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dorcas Meadows considers her relationship with Severus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Root or Jump

Root or Jump

The sun sets over the Quidditch pitch as the final match of the year - of my school career - draws to a close, but I don't feel like watching. I feel, in fact, like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff, trying desperately to root myself into place with my shoelaces when all I really want to do is break free and jump. And potentially fall and die in a glorious crash of arms not quite outstretched far enough.

He doesn't know this, though. No, as the sky turns grey on this Tuesday, all Severus can do is watch the game with a fervor that he doesn't normally posses. I know why, too. He'd just called Lily Evans a Mudblood, driving her even further into James Potter's arms, and he hated himself for it.

That's why he started seeing me. Because I amuse him and distract him from the pain he caused himself. I find myself at a loss over whether or not that's a good thing. I find myself at a loss as to how I fell for such a self-important twat.

Retrospectively, I always knew he was dangerous. From our very first encounter - and our uneasy friendship that followed - I knew that Severus Snape would only lead me to a bitter end. He would use me until he got what he wanted or grew bored. Then I'd jump and fall and he'd be no where near catching me. Something tells me that if I let myself jump and fly, I'm going to be stuck down there for awhile with broken bones and a twisted neck.

But to root myself in place... To stand firm and strong like an oak in the wind has no appeal to me, no warmth. As odd as it is, the snarky Slytherin is my warmth, and I enjoy his company more than anyone would have ever guessed.

So to stay or to leave? To root or to jump?

He hugs me after the game with just one arm. Lily is watching, and he makes a point of whispering in my ear, "good game, right?" with a knowing smirk on his face. It's not what he says that matters, it's the way our exchange looks to Lily. I'm being used and I know it, and in that instance I make up my mind. His arms pull away, but as I smile at his dark eyes, I know it's too late. I am drawn in as though his gaze were a Portkey and my body was no longer my own.

I jump.


End file.
